


Biggest yet

by VanessaWolfie



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fights, First War with Voldemort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-08
Updated: 2013-05-08
Packaged: 2017-12-10 20:27:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/789819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VanessaWolfie/pseuds/VanessaWolfie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>James has no idea how to fix this fight. How to make this better.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Biggest yet

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bleedforyou1](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bleedforyou1/gifts).



> Slight angst for the 2nd part of my bday gift to Bleedy. Maybe it's a bit more than slightly angsty? You tell me.

James didn’t know what to do. How was he supposed to fix this? Why wasn’t there a bloody manual on girls? He couldn’t just sit here while she decided everything. With each passing second, she might decide that James was just the same idiot that he had been back in his first years at Hogwarts.

 

Suddenly, James heard the back door open and then someone shouted, “Hello, anybody home?”

 

James struggled between wanting to hide and notface his best friend and wanting to fall into his arms like a little baby and bawl.

 

“What the hell happened in here?” Sirius asked incredulously as he took in the kitchen before him. James hadn’t been able to decide which one he wanted, the bawling or the hiding, so he was just seemingly frozen to the floor next to the kitchen island.

 

Sirius had good reason to sound incredulous, because although not so different from his day-to-day view in his own apartment, the kitchen did not look like something Lily Evans would approve of.

 

When James didn’t respond, Sirius turned even more grave and closed the distance.

 

“What the bloody hell is wrong James, you’re scaring me,” he said, shaking James’ shoulder’s. This sounded strange coming from Sirius who seldom admitted to being afraid or worried. He started again, “really, James--” but James interrupted him.

 

“We, we fought,” he said, his brows furrowing, because he couldn’t really make sense of it. They’d fought before, but Lily hadn’t gotten this upset; she hadn’t shouted like that since back before they even started dating. “We fought and she shouted and god, Padfoot it was horrible and then she said that I shouldn’t expect her back here, she was going to stay with Alice.” James could hear the sobs in his voice but he couldn’t care less, he just wanted Lily back here and in his arms.

 

Sirius just grabbed him and pulled him into a hug, clearly understanding that he wouldn’t get much more sense from James from now on.

 

When James could talk again and Sirius had had enough of the hug, they parted and James started again, trying to explain the mess, Lily going and oh god, this was all too real for James. Being grown-up sucked.

 

“I think you should maybe sit down on the sofa and tell me what happened. Or, if you prefer, what you’re going to do now,” Sirius said, his demeanour calm and kind of stern. It looked and sounded alien coming from Sirius.

 

“We got in a fight. First it was about how late I got home last night and then I woke her up and she couldn’t go back to sleep or something and then suddenly, it was about something other and somewhere in the middle of it all Snape came up and in the end she just stopped, like all the fight was sucked out of her and told me she was leaving. I have no idea if she’s going to come back Padfoot, I don’t know if this is just for today, or …” James trailed off, unable to finish that thought.

 

“You’re a git Prongs. You fought about Snivellus with Lily? Even I am not that dumb. Also, this is not the end of the world. You got Lily to fall in love with you when she hated your guts, you can get her back from this. From the sound of it, this sounds like your biggest fight yet and that’s why Lily needed some space. You know she’s not as unforgiving as Remus, I mean, she won’t take six bloody months with you in the freeze zone; plus, you didn’t almost kill anyone,” Sirius said, clearly trying to get some humour into the situations, but James just grimaced recalling the epic fight between Sirius and Remus after the Snape incidence.

 

“I might not have almost killed someone, but I said some pretty nasty things, both about her and him. I just, he just bugs me out and it creeps me out to think that they were best friends. That he still has feelings for her and that she won’t hate him like the Dark Eater he is. I just,” James rambled, getting upset again, before remembering that this was why Lily wasn’t here, and god the apartment felt empty without her.

 

“What we’re going to do is this; we’re going to march over to Alice’s with her favorite flowers and get her home. I can’t stand looking at you like this,” Sirius said and that seemed to be the end of the discussion on his part. He got up and dragged James with him, grabbed a jacket for James and out they went.

 

James tried to argue, but even he could tell he was doing a poor job of it. The fact was that he wanted nothing more than to see Lily now and having Sirius there with him gave him just the right amount courage he needed.

 

They stopped in a supermarket on the way and got a small bouquet of lilies, some red, some pink, some yellow or orange and one blue. James thought it was a bit too much but Sirius felt it showed the various ways James was sorry.

 

In front of Alice’s house, James almost chickened out. Sirius on the other hand seemed to be ready for that.

 

“I’ll knock, I’ll talk, I’ll get her out and then you fix this like the brave Gryffindor I know you have underneath there somewhere,” Sirius said, his voice challenging like only a marauder could.

 

Alice came to the door, her face stone cold and her lips sealed tight together. James found it an unattractive look on her and it unnerved him. If this was what Alice looked like, what did Lily look like?

 

“We’re here to talk to Lily. We’re not going until we talk to Lily. And if you’re in doubt of our integrity, consider the fact that we’re fellow Gryffindors and you’ve heard all about us; we’re not bluffing,” Sirius stated before Alice could even open her mouth to insult them.

A little warmth seemed to seep in at that, before Alice realised what role she was in and the stone cold wall came up again.

 

It was not Alice’s day to bitch out. When she opened her mouth again, Lily appeared in the door, patting her back and said, “Let them in Ali,” in a defeated tone.

 

James felt glued to the steps. Sirius violently pushed him inside and James just knew he was shaking his head. Lily walked into the guest room, her overnight bag on the floor, half open and it felt like a punch in the gut to James. Sirius pushed him inside and then dragged Alice outside and closed the door.

 

Now was his time to act. Except he had no idea what the hell he should say.

 

“Those flowers for me?” Lily asked in a small voice.

 

James nodded, before realising he probably looked like a five year old, having not said a word since he entered the premises. “Yes, of course. They’re kind of like this big, variable sorry. Which is like me. I’m really sorry and I just, it’s been a few hours and I’m already feeling like there’s this hole in my heart and the place is like, empty without you and I just want you back,” James knew he was rambling and probably not making much sense, but he didn’t seem to be able to get this out any differently.

 

Lily sat down on the bed, quiet, not responding and after a few minutes James started to feel a bit stupid standing there with the flowers in his right hand and his left hand trying to find a place, because he just didn’t know what to do.

 

“I know you’re sorry, I know that, but I just, that fight was epic and we said some things that I’m not sure if we’d ever say in other circumstances, but I’m still scared James. Are you going to talk about people like that to our children or in front of them? Because I want to have children with you, I want to have a home with you, but I can’t live with the bully that tormented my friend. I don’t care what that friend is doing now, that’s his problem; I will not stand for that kind of talk anywhere near me or my hypothetical children,” Lily said, stern and unwavering, even though she was basically saying that if James couldn’t do as she said, they were through.

 

James couldn’t speak right away, because with Lily’s words, a huge knot formed in his throat. Lily saw them having children together. It was something that had been brought up, but for her to mention it in a fight this big, meant that she really wanted too, but maybe James had ruined any chance of that happening.

 

“I’m sorry. You know I’ve grown up since then, since we were in Hogwarts. I just, I think a part of me is jealous. It doesn’t matter what he does or says, you always defend him,” he started, but Lily sighed and interrupted him.

 

“That’s what love is James. Loving someone and standing by him in some way through it all. I don’t like him now, I don’t like what he’s doing and I sure as hell don’t support his work, but I do love him and I don’t see that ever changing. Just like I don’t see that I’ll ever stop loving you, even if you insult me through my friends and you can not for the love of all that’s good in the world clean up after yourself.”

 

“I love you so much and I’ll do whatever I can from now on to shut up about him. And I honestly promise never to teach our children to talk about people like that. I’ll teach them to care, to be like their mother, who wouldn’t verbally hurt Lord Voldemort himself even if she had the chance.”

 

With those words, he put the flowers on top of Lily’s bag and then pulled her up from the bed to kiss her. It had hunger that had stopped being in their day-to-day kisses after James had finally taken to believing that it wasn’t just a dream.

 

“Can we be okay now?” James asked as he broke the kiss. He didn’t move away, just cherished the feeling of her body against his.

 

When Lily nodded, James wanted to jump up and down cheering, but he settled for kissing her again. It was a much better idea when he thought about it. Kissing Lily was one of his favourite  things. And from the looks of it, he might just be doing it for the rest of his life if he didn’t screw up again.

 

Here’s to hoping.


End file.
